10 Ways to Set Up a Stress-Free Christmas
"…"

(NB This has got nothing to do with timings for the turkey…!)

As we approach the last part of the year (and the decade) we are urged to make this the ‘perfect’ Christmas. The perfect presents – sustainable, thoughtful, tasteful and plastic-free if possible, hand-wrapped with a sprig of holly. The perfect food – a bird that had a happy life, a rainbow of vegetable side dishes, the vegan option. Don’t forget, you are also responsible for creating the perfect atmosphere – cosy blankets, fluffy socks, the tree with treasured (yet tasteful) ornaments, scented candles, a range of hot drinks on demand, hygge, but not how the Danes intended.

We pressure ourselves into thinking that Christmas must be a certain way, either because it’s always been done that way, or because we have been conditioned by market forces to think it has to be that way. Christmas isn’t necessarily happy, cosy or joyful for everyone. For some people, especially women, it represents additional unpaid administrative, domestic and emotional drudgery. For others, it is a reminder that there is an empty place at the table, or a time where loneliness is amplified.

So why talk about this aspect of Christmas? Because to some extent, we’ve all been there. At one end of the scale there’s the undercooked turkey, through to visits to toxic relatives, with getting through the first Christmas without a precious loved one at the other end. This is a call to arms to say that we can recognise this and take steps to have a Christmas that doesn’t bankrupt us, financially or emotionally.

  • If it doesn’t work for you, think about different ways to do it. If you hate cooking, don’t do it – ask someone who loves it, or get ready-made. Hell, have a pizza if you love pizza, Father Christmas will be too knackered to weep into his turkey about it anyway.
  • If you are the head chef or entertainments officer by default rather than choice, keep it simple and do what you like. If anyone is really distraught about the lack of red cabbage or bizarre condiment, they can always bring it themselves (and make a mental note to put them on the naughty list next year.)
  • Prioritise self-care for you and your loved ones – getting some fresh air, eating your veg, and not overdoing the Irish Cream Liqueur are probably the bare minimum.

  • Instead of material gifts, how about a voucher for a therapy, a promise of a day out, or a meal out? Minimal wrapping, low-waste, potentially plastic-free, supports the local economy. Done.
  • If you’re a guest, don’t be an empty stocking – help if it’s required and keep away if not. Serve drinks, be suave, witty and charming, say the food is wonderful and do the washing-up.
  • It’s ok to want to be on your own. If Christmas is a difficult time for you, respect your own emotional boundaries, and make an active choice about who you expend your energy on.
  • I say it all the time but… give yourself the gift of kindness. Talk to yourself with respect and love, because hanging out all day, every day with a rude, hypercritical perfectionist is as much fun as peeling sprouts, putting that weird cross in the bottom and then slicing the tip of your finger off in the process.
  • If Christmas is a good time for you, check on friends, family, neighbours and strangers. A short conversation or message is all it takes for people to feel connected.
  • Is your presence going to be stressful for someone else? Turning up to be fed the mother of all roast dinners with three headstrong kids and a recalcitrant puppy might sound blissful for you, but is it honestly your host’s dream come true? See them another time, or pop in for a mince pie, and then as elegantly as possible, depart.
  • The most difficult I’ve saved for last – if family Christmases are not a thing of joy and magic, do you have to go for the whole day or at all? It’s radical, as we’re bombarded with the idea that CHRISTMAS = FAMILY, but if it’s miserable why put yourself through it? Maybe just for one year, you could be unbound from the ‘duty’ and share the love with people who make your heart sing. Or be on your own. Or go to Ibiza. 

 

Join me on 16th December for my Christmas Calm event – it’s a break from the hustle and the busy of Christmas prep where we’ll explore breathing techniques for keeping cool, calm and collected, hand reflexology, restorative poses and developing a self-kindness narrative. Tickets available here. 

Photo by Chad Madden on Unsplash